FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD !!!!
Sept is supposed to be the month I lay my heart to be fully determined and try my very best to go on a diet, but alas it ended up to be an extremely sinful month instead.
I am a contradicting bitch and worst a glutton who can never win the battle of temptations. I mean I dont wanna end up as a moron who rejects good food, afterall life is short rite???!!! Hence even the diet is perpetually on my mind, looks like it is not gonna be happening afterall.
First it was the seafood we indulged in everyday in Bintan, then there was the mooncake feast. Did I ever mention, May and I brought our princess Licia to Al Dente for an Italian spread and later to Fullerton Hotel for the heavenly savoring on the Chocolate Buffet?!? The fondue? The chocoexpresso cake? The hot melted caramel choco shake? Everything was in chocolate!!! It was not just only the special occasions whereby I literally dug a grave for myself, lunch was just as equivalent.
The office gals were pretty mad about this Eat All You Can Teochew porridge for just a meagre $5 per person!!!! We kinda ate it for several days CONTINUOUSLY. Well, is damn cheap I tell you! There were lotsa selection of food and for just $5 we get to eat so much especially when we comb the place down in more than 4 people. You guys wont understand the joy in us for in town, a packet of mixed rice can easily fetch up to $4 per packet with just a miserable 2 veg and 1 meat selection. Hence $5 per person is damn worthwhile and full of zest!
The digression of food dont just end here! I had been enjoying hearty meals with my boy these days and even though we dont head out and just slack at home, my stomach aint spared either! You name it, I had it! I am wondering if my tummy is lined with an elastic band man. It doesnt seem to burst at all. Well, it DID grow a few inches more.
There had been lotsa slimming pills in town lately and sometimes I do feel the urge to try. Doesnt the sickening tagline which come out of Michelle Chong mouth haunts you? Jian Chu Tu Nan Gen Ben Bu Nan? (Loosely translated as to reduce the tummy aint a difficult task) and how she emphasis on a pill is equivalent to 300 sit ups? DAMN the gimmicks! It just relish an urge in me to try it and fortunately it costs a freaking $90 for a box of dunno how many miserable pills. And for someone like me, $ comes first. Else I guessed I would have down 100 pills by now.
It sure was enticing and alluring. Especially when I have friends around me who swear by these pills and how I see the effects work wonders on them. To be honest, it doesnt come by easy either. I have a close friend who relates to me how a certain brand make her feel so bad she hope she can empty all her bowels instantly. She felt like going to the toilet and bare it all out every single minute but sadly, there was always nothing. It was just an unendurable agony she was going through as a side effect. But it did slim her down by A LOT. But the sufferings measure by LOTS too.
I also heard rumours on how your weight pile up on you as if to revenge if you stop the pill taking. I have a friend or should I say a balloon, as she is always in a different size each time I meet her. She doesnt take the pill regularly and according to her, she stops and she ballooned up. And when she resumes, she have the tendency to eat healthily and hence missed out the real pleasure, for what fark I aint sure since the adverts always tell consumers how you can continue on your gorging of food. She mentions to eat healthily is to enable the slimming process to speed up, which was given out as a tip by the salesperson who sold her the pills.
I made up my mind. I wont pay for pills. I am a coward, I do not wish to end up as the Pierre-Andrea-Saga. Whats more, I dont even get famous if anything should happen. Who the hell would keep up on the Nana-Andrew-Saga(choy!) rite??? Besides, I am just a poor bloke and wont be able to afford on those pills. I rather use the moolah on more chocolate buffet. Yumyum!
Extrim should start endorsing me rather than Zoe Tay. Xando should consider me instead of Fann Wong too. From the start, they aint fat to start with mah! I know I aint too but at least I have a true account, I have a TUMMY to show. I know I dont have readership which hits the roof like some local celeb bloggers but being in a low profile benefits too. Let me go into details. I aint a marketing student for nothing ok!
Let us take the following scenario for an example :
A friend/reader of mine meet Ivy Lee on the streets. Wow, one hot mama! Aiyah, she really very skinny since Star Search days leh, not much difference in how she slim down mah! Celebs hor like paid to agree everything one leh! Even the food not nice, in front of tv they must act as if they orgasm liddat! Then behind the cam puke we also dunno mah? Rite???
(ya man, I totally agree!)
What if I am the one endorsing Mary Chia instead???
Wah seh! NaNa your tumtum(affectionately given by Cai Tou) like getting flatter leh compared to last time! Wah!!!! How you do it huh??!!
Me : Mary Chia loh, it works and it is super powerful leh! Really, maybe a bit expensive lah but look at me now? Say goodbye to tumtum! I let you touch! I show you my last time photos, (quickly whipped out my ipod to show) Sibei power rite?? Now I can put pics of myself in bikini in my blog without fearing to scare my readers away leh. You must try one day man!!
Ya man!!! It works hor! It doesnt feel bouncy anymore! I should try!!! And he/she scurries home and tells everyone about it which includes all the 455 friends in his/her friendster list and each and everyone passed it on. We are talking about 455 to their 2nd degree then to the 3rd degree! WOW!!!
SEE!!!???!!! Can you touch Ivy Lee tumtum? And even if you can find a fat photo of Ivy Lee, you must be a moron to think she IS fat! Please remember the camera add on unneccessary pounds on celebs!! And the public is naturally skeptical on celebs endorsements. Plus, there are so much programs which works wonders now. With photoshop, I also can have a devilish model and Cup E boobs siah!!!
But if it was me? Things would have gone differently.
Not satisfied? Endorse local celeb blogger lah why me??!!!???
Well, like I mentioned earlier on, I do not have rocket high readership but neither do I have evil detractors who will go on strike and spead to others what a liar I am. Cos I dont have hits like 1000 per day, all I have is regular pool of supporters who had been with me since day 1 and see how my blog had grown. They read my life and shares my adventures. And I am so confident if I were to reommend something that indeed work on me, people will believe me as I am just a nobody. A nobody among the somebody who is just a gal next door with no ill intentions. A gal with no fame pressure at all. I dont even need ads or any fees, I just need free supplies of pills or services haha. Is cheap to endorse me and word of mouth works efficiently.
Conclusion? Use NaNa you fool!! I am just a gal who desperately wanna slim down nia .. sob sob! And please dont ask me to cut down on food lah! Is as cruel as asking Britney not to have sex during her so-call-celibacy leh! Someone save me please????!!!